What Women Actually Mean When They Say “Alpha Male”

I keep a tight circle of successful, inspiring women around me—and naturally, we do talk about men on occasion.The other day the question came up: Who is an attractive alpha male?

Her POV for Him: Who the Modern Alpha Male is

First off, we all agreed—alpha is attractive. But in today’s world… who is he, really?

Me... as someone who’s above-average fit, I don’t actually care for a man’s six-pack. Don’t get me wrong—it definitely helps. But most of us? We don’t care for it that much.

A good physique is not what makes someone an alpha male.

A man who takes care of himself—his health, his body, his space, his mind?That’s discipline. That’s hot.

When we say “alpha,” we don’t mean loud, brash, or macho. We mean confident, self-assured, knows how to treat people—with humility and chivalry.

He’s intentional with his lifestyle. He trains—not just for aesthetics, but because he wants to be healthy. He treats himself with respect. He’s in it for longevity.

He doesn’t need a big Balenciaga logo t-shirt. His clothes fit well, they compliment his body and reflect who he is.

He knows how to be respected, not feared, as a leader. He doesn’t take himself too seriously. He’s not up his own ass. He can flirt. He can joke. He’s got banter.

That, in my POV, is the modern alpha.

It might sound like a lot—but once you’ve assumed that identity, it’s achievable. Not everyone is born with it. But everyone can cultivate it.

Don’t know where to start? Drop me a line. I’ll help you brainstorm.